There are a lot of married people out there on the lookout for sexual adventures. If you are interested in hookups, the chances are that you’ll stumble upon a married person sooner or later. What should you do? Should you go and have casual sex or pass, hoping that something better will come up? You are not alone in this dilemma as it is considerably older than online dating itself.
The records of married cheaters go way back to 44 B.C. Cleopatra, who was the queen of ancient Egypt at a time, managed to keep several love affairs going simultaneously. Fast forward, a millennium or two, and we have Madonna and Ashton Kutcher.
Whether you just met someone married interested in a hookup or you are already engaged in casual sex with a married person, you are probably wondering is it worth all the secrecy and trouble you are going through.
To help you answer this question, we’ve decided to do extensive research. Here is everything we’ve found out about having casual sex with a married person, including all the pros and cons of tasting the forbidden fruit.
Casual Sex With a Married Person: The Forbidden Fruit
How did we even arrive at this question? What made casual sex with a married person so hard to resist in the first place? Science offers the explanation hidden behind the “forbidden fruit” metaphor. This metaphor applies the best in this scenario because we have the desire to do something forbidden on both sides.
A married person should not cheat, and you, as an available person, should not engage in casual sex with a married person. The psychological theory behind the forbidden fruit concept is the reactance theory. It simply says that if we perceive an activity or object as something that limits our freedom, we are motivated to do things we otherwise wouldn’t do to maintain our sense of freedom.
The bottom line is simple: having sex with a married person is a forbidden fruit, which makes it even more irresistible. Now that you know why you have the urge to do it let’s take a look at some of the psychological effects of having casual sex with a married person.
Consider Psychological Effects
The consensus about the psychological effects of having casual sex with a married person is uniform around the world. People are under the impression that casual sex in this scenario decreases mental well-being.
We can see where this is coming from. It’s seen as something that goes against the moral code. Add a sense of integrity and the commitments you made to others and yourself to it, and you have it – causal sex with a married person is something that has adverse psychological effects.
But in reality, the situation is somewhat different. There are numerous studies done in this field, and they’ve all told us the same thing. In the best-case scenario, casual sex will have a positive effect on your psychological well-being. “What is the worst-case scenario?” you may wonder. Well, in the worst-case scenario, casual sex won’t have any effect on your psychological well-being.
However, having casual sex with a married person can still complicate your life. On the other side, it comes with some pretty good perks. So how do you decide? Here are the most noteworthy cons and pros of hooking up with a married person.
The Pros Of Hooking Up With a Married Person
Do you already have an opinion about helping some cheat their partner? If you are leaning towards saying no, consider the following benefits of being an accomplice to a cheater.
1. The Sex Is Good
Why do you think a married person wants to have an affair in the first place? The sex, of course. These individuals don’t have regular sex in their marriages. In some instances, there is no sex at all. All they want is to find some to have sex with.
Imagine that sexual energy that has been accumulating for weeks, months, or even years? One of the strongest points of casual sex with a married person is exactly this. The only thing you’ll have to worry about is trying to keep up! Don’t forget that married lovers also want to experiment and go the extra mile in the bed.
2. It’s Fun and Exciting
Having sex with someone married is fun and exciting. Remember the forbidden fruit story? Taking it and tasting it for the first time is exciting. But there is more to it than meets the eye, especially if you are doing it for the first time. You are going to have to sneak around to get past the partner’s radar!
If you are in all that secrecy stuff and enjoy hiding and leaving no traces behind you, then this will be your ultimate challenge. Meeting someone and spending a “night” together for the first time is also something many people find thrilling.
3. There Are No Commitments Whatsoever
It is entirely understandable if you are worried about commitments. A married person made many of them in front of witnesses, and they are about to say farewell to them all. This is where you come in. Casual sex is like a hookup – no strings attached.
Don’t forget one fact – a married person is squeezing you into his or her daily schedule while making sure it doesn’t appear suspicious to the spouse. After the sex, you will be left alone as they need to go back home. Your only obligation is to deliver performance in bed unless you are told something else!
4. Discover New Types of Relationship
There are different types of relationships people can form among each other. Each one of them is unique, and each pair makes any type unique because they come from different backgrounds and with different personalities. If you decide to engage in casual sex with a married person, get ready to discover new things.
This a brand new type of relationship, and if you haven’t been in one before, it is hard to describe it. The only way to do it is to try it yourself. Remember, we are still talking about casual sex here. You will always be able to back up if you don’t like it.
5. No Stress
Being in a classic relationship or enjoying the perks of friends with benefits always comes with at least some stress. If you can’t deal with stress at the moment, casual sex with a married person is perhaps the best option you have.
The only thing that you might mind is secrecy. But other than that, expect no stress whatsoever. Once the sex is over, you have no obligation, and nothing else is expected from you. With so little personal involvement, the stress is entirely out of the picture.
6. You Get to Keep Your Freedom
Do you value your freedom above anything else? We are not talking about the general meaning of the term, but the freedom of not having to be available for someone at all times. That’s what casual sex with a married person brings. You don’t have to make plans or give away something that you want to do.
If you choose to engage in casual sex with a married person, you get to keep your freedom and everything that goes with it. Sometimes it is going to be a one-time thing. But even if it grows into regular casual-sex, your life will remain the same, and you will be able to get out of the arrangement anytime you want.
The Cons of Hooking Up With a Married Person
Like everything else in life, hooking up with a married person has its cons as well. If you were wondering which troubles await you along the way, take a look at the most common ones.
1. Possible Drama
If you don’t want drama in your life, tread carefully. Sometimes, getting involved with a married person will expose you to too much drama. Most often, it won’t happen, but the risk is still there. Drama is always there, potentially lurking below what simply appears to be a calm surface.
Maybe you won’t provide enough attention or fail to deliver what was expected from you in the bed. And you never know how that other person will react, especially when dealing with married men and women. They think they are risking too much to be treated as some random people. And in essence, they are because it’ nothing more than casual sex.
2. Getting Caught is an Option
While we are talking about drama, we have to address one of the potential scenarios. You never know who the other person is in marriage. You can’t even remotely guess. What if it is someone who is surveilling the spouse in one way or another? What if you get caught pants down?
This is the most crucial downside to keep in mind when making a decision. If you are ready to run and hide, or drive to a remote hotel, you are ready for the game. If this doesn’t sound as causal as you’ve imagined, then maybe you should reconsider.
3. What if Either Of You Fall in Love?
Falling in love is always a possibility when there is sex involved. It happens more often than you think. When you think about it, the chances of falling in love are slim if it is a one-time thing. However, if you continue to have casual sex regularly, things will start cooking.
In either case, the situation will be awkward. The married person you are seeing will less likely get a divorce to be with you, and you can end up broken-hearted. Also, if your sex date falls in love with you, you can expect random messages and calls. You will have no other option but to call it off and face whatever the consequences it might bring you.
4. The Fantasy May End Before You Want It To
Casual sex with a married person falls into the fantasy category for several reasons. First, as we’ve said, you are tasting forbidden fruit. And, secondly, it is an intense experience built on a momentum that delivers excitement. But, as in Cinderella, the magic lasts only for a while.
The casual sex bubble will burst sooner or later. For some people, this might be a problem, especially for those that want the fantasy to continue. This downside is easy to tackle. Just keep in mind that it is a fantasy. At one point, the magic will disappear, and you will go back to your life.
5. You Won’t Be Able To Get Support!
Before you get involved with someone who is married even for casual sex, remember, you are their dirty little secret. How is this a con? Well, it is not, but only if you are aware of it and ok with it. Otherwise, you can run into walls and end up being disappointed.
Casual sex with a married person is nothing more than that. You can’t call them and expect them to answer whenever you need comfort, support, or a shoulder to cry on. You will probably go straight to voicemail. If you are not ready for this, you’ll suffer, and your self-esteem might take a blow as well.
6. Better Get Used to Confusion
Casual sex with a married person, you say? Welcome to the world of hookups, the land without borders where confusion has been the undisputed ruler since the dawn of times. If you start secretly seeing each other, the chances are you will get confused.
Some of the things you’ll be asking yourself include, “Does he/she see other people?” to “Is this turning into dating?”. Don’t worry; you’ll get used to sooner than you expect.
This concludes our insights on casual sex with a married person, and whether it is worth the trouble. You have all the pros and cons right in front of you. Since you are an adult and you already have some experience in this domain, we will let you decide!