In today’s day and age, you have multiple ways to find your date. When the pandemic outbreak took over, there weren’t as many opportunities for real-life meetings, but you could run into many online dating sites and apps. They have been on the rise, especially over the past couple of years.
Each dating site or app has its services, so there’s something for everyone, and there have been so many options available that people often take them for granted. On apps like Tinder, you can swipe left or right, which means that you can reject or match with the user. You can talk to many types of people that you wouldn’t probably meet in real life.
However, since modern dating has become available for everyone, there’s been huge competition. It can easily be an endless rabbit hole for many people, and there’s always someone a little prettier, more interesting, or someone living nearby. That further leads to frustration and overwhelm. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, we will give you tips to overcome it.
1. Lower Your Standards
One of the reasons for feeling overwhelmed is that you may have high expectations. Most of us usually make mistakes by always looking for an ideal partner. In reality, there’s no such thing as perfection. You might expect your next match to be the one, but that’s not how usually the world works. You will swipe left and right constantly and eventually start feeling sick of it.
You’ll run into many dates before finding that partner. We advise you to lower your standards. When you’re persistently looking for a perfect match, you will feel burnout. We all have some flaws, which are parts of being human. To make dating less overwhelming, set the bar a little lower and try to have more fun.
Another thing to keep in mind, don’t take dating too seriously. Dating should not feel like a job interview but a casual hangout with your friends – try to have fun while talking to your date rather than feeling anxious.
2. Date One or Two Persons at a Time
When you get into online dating, you’ll want to talk to multiple dates at once, but does talking to more dates truly improve your chances of success? Yes, but also no. Although you increase the possibility of getting a date, you also become less committed. The quality of the conversation will fall, and it will lead to many unsuccessful dates and unfinished conversations, so you’ll miss a lot of opportunities.
Another reason why talking to multiple dates is flawed would be that it’s time-consuming. When you’re talking to many people, you’ll have to invest your time in the conversations. Multiple dating can become an obligation, and obligations can be frustrating.
You’ll meet many people in your life, so don’t rush anything. We recommend you talk with one or two people at a time. You’ll have better clarity about the person you’re dating and more freedom. It will make you less frustrated when you eventually meet the person.
3. There’s No Exact Formula for Every Single Date
There are tons of videos and online tutorials on how to be successful in dating. Many tutorials will give you different suggestions on how to date. Some of them have a long list of things to follow and avoid. If you make one mistake with a date, you’re probably doomed to fail. All of those websites have different opinions, and even a bit of good general dating advice can be bad in certain scenarios.
Following someone else’s set of rules all the time can make you feel quite overwhelmed. The truth is that there is no exact formula for any date. Nobody is perfect, and everyone has a different perspective on how to date. Take a deep breath and relax before approaching a new date – don’t take yourself or the person you’re dating too seriously. Also, talk when you feel like doing so, don’t do it because you have to.
4. Accept Rejections
Rejections are a perfectly normal part of the dating world. Everyone has faced multiple rejections from other people throughout their lives, but we know that rejections can be heartbreaking and frustrating, especially if you put some effort into a conversation. It’s a kind of failure that can make anyone want to give up.
The trick is that you have to change your mindset to avoid feeling overwhelmed. There are always going to be the things you can’t change. You may do everything right, but still, the date won’t catch feelings for you for X or Y reason. or it can be the other way around as well. You may not be one for another, and that’s a healthy sign for moving on. Look at it as a chance to find someone who will suit you better.
Keep in mind that you don’t owe anything to each other. You may not be attractive to one person, but you might attract another. That is something that can change all the time. Just make sure you’re not taking things personally and let them affect your future dating. After all, everyone’s different.
5. Trust Your Guts
Another cause of overwhelm can be dating just for the sake of dating. Dating people you don’t like can make you force conversations and feel overwhelmed. That can make you pretend to be someone you’re not and will make you feel bad.
Before dating any person, make sure you like them in the first place. Check their bio and pictures to see if they meet most of your expectations. If they don’t, feel free to say no and move on. You will have a gut feeling while approaching certain people. Be sure to trust your guts before committing to a conversation.
6. Don’t Invest Your Time in People that Don’t Care
Don’t invest your time in people that don’t care about your conversation. Many people have started feeling overwhelmed when some of their dates constantly gaslight them. It means that they always respond after a long while or show low interest.
When you run into that kind of a person, don’t even bother spending two more words. You’re much better off being alone than wasting your time. Don’t settle for anything because there’s always someone who’ll care enough to talk back.
7. Hang Out with Your Friends
Hanging out with friends can feel like having a second family. True friends will improve your mood, make sure you have a good time, or help when in need. They can make you forget about the problems you’re dealing with daily or help you solve them.
Talking to your friends can help you look at things clearer. Feel free to talk about your frustrations with a friend because you might find a solution. The chance is that some of your friends experienced dating overwhelm in the past as you did. Sharing your experiences with a friend can even make you feel some relief.
It’s even better if your friends have stopped feeling overwhelmed by dating. They can help you overcome that feeling too. Ask them to share their stories with you. That way, your friends can give you an insight into how they felt and what helped them get over that period. Hopefully, that will help you relate more and find a solution.
You can ask your friends to go out to some public events. There’s a possibility that they can call their other single friends, so you will have a chance to meet someone in real life without hassling online dating.
Talking to a person in real life can be worth more than talking behind small screens. You can see if the person suits you right away, which is way more convenient. Also, dating in real life can help you step outside your comfort zone and help you gain more confidence.
8. Know What You Want
Knowing what you want can help sort many things out. You may want to date casually, have one-night stands, or pursue a long-term relationship. Sometimes, determining your goals can be confusing, but it helps in the long run. Set your priorities straight when it comes to choosing a partner, but as we said before, don’t take it too seriously.
Ask yourself some questions that can help you set your goals. See what your preferences are, what you are looking for, what your lifestyle is, or what you can bring to the table. Think about your work life and see how much time you can spare for dating. Otherwise, when you combine everything tightly, you will be overwhelmed.
9. Make Sure You Use Reputable Dating Apps
You might be facing problems like bumping into fake users all the time. If that’s the case, you should switch to a different dating app. Look for an app that many recommend using. If you have some bucks to spare for a membership, we suggest that you go ahead. The chances are that the memberships can offer you a more versatile experience.
10. Stop Comparing to Other People
Don’t compare yourself to other people. Remember, everyone comes from a different starting point and a different situation. Some people might have it easier in dating, and some may have it a lot tougher. People will usually brag about their successes and hide their failures.
Try to focus more on self-improvement and work things out with yourself. When you do, dating should become a lot less overwhelming.
11. Take a Break from Dating
When you’re feeling burnt out from swiping a lot of dates, you should take a break. Connected to the previous things we mentioned, too much of everything can cause frustrations. A lot of swiping can make you feel dizzy and overwhelmed. If you spend too much time, it can also cause mental health issues like depression or anxiety.
Take some time off-screen, and do other activities. Those activities will help you feel less frustrated and overwhelmed. You may have some hobbies that can make you cool down, so try to find something that can help avoid dating overwhelm.
Also, don’t be too available to other people. You can sometimes respond to them after a day or two, or generally, take a break from your dating app for a couple of days or even a week. That can help you clear your head for a while and start afresh.
12. Be More Patient
Another great mistake that many of us often make is that we want everything, and we want it now. No matter what, patience is always the key. You can feel like your conversations aren’t leading anywhere and that can make you frustrated. If you’re facing a lot of failures and senseless chats, it’s time to take a step back.
Sometimes, the person you’re looking for can come to you when you least expect it. As we mentioned, don’t try to rush or force things. Good things usually happen when you’re more relaxed. The right person might be just around the corner, so don’t give up.
Over time, anyone can feel overwhelmed by dating. When dating, lower your standards. Minimize your dating to one or two people at a time. There can’t be a universal formula to dating, and rejections can happen to anyone. Trust your gut and talk only to the people you’re interested in.
Stop wasting your time on people who show low interest. If you need more help, you can seek advice from your friends. They might even help you meet a new date, but of course, you have to know what you want and make priorities. If you’re dating online, be sure to use a reputable dating app.
Also, don’t compare yourself to other people because it can only affect you badly. If you’re feeling overwhelmed from dating, it’s necessary to take at least a short break. Last but not least, be patient – good things will happen when you least expect them!