10 Best Dating Sites for Ethically Non-Monogamous (ENM) Relationships & Hookups

Ethnicially Non-Monogamous Relationship

If you frequently go out and hang out with tons of people, you probably have noticed that most people around you are monogamous. Once they find a partner, they tend to stay with them, loyal to the relationship they have.

They don’t go out with other people or have sexual or romantic relationships with others. However, some prefer non-monogamous relationships over staying true to only one partner.

If you have wondered what a non-monogamous relationship is, this comprehensive guide will help you. We will explain what ethical non-monogamy is, list different types of ENM relationships, and give you a list of the best ENM dating sites for meaningful relationships, casual dating, hookups, and more.

Here’s our comprehensive list of the top 10 dating sites for ENM relationships and hookups.

1. Zever

Zever is a dating app created explicitly for ENM relationships. The app has a massive community of users into ENM connections, including open relationships, polyamory, swinging, threesomes, kinky sex, etc. 

Zever users are all into all sorts of ENM connections, so you should be able to find exciting matches here quickly.

Create a profile, find same-minded people, join your accounts, and enjoy yourself. The app caters to singles and couples and is an excellent dating service for swinging and threesomes.

2. Adult Friend Finder (AFF)

AFF is one of the largest dating sites for all sorts of sexual and romantic connections and relationships. It gathers millions of users worldwide and helps them find compatible partners.

The site is perfect for all dating and sexual preferences, ENM included. Whether you’re single or a couple looking for open-minded individuals for threesomes, kinky sex, or something else, AFF will deliver.

3. Swing Lifestyle (SLS)

Swing Lifestyle is a dating site for swingers with the largest community of open-minded people on the web. It’s a niche dating site that caters to any sexual preference and lifestyle. The site mostly gathers swinger couples into all sorts of ENM relationships.

If you’re looking for a threesome and other types of sexually free connections, this is a perfect dating site for you. Join the site, discover plenty of swinger couples, learn new and exciting things about threesomes, and explore your deepest fantasies and sexual desires.

4. Fab Swingers

Fab Swingers was created by a swinger couple who wanted a safe, secure, stigma-free, and free dating platform for genuine swinger couples. You can use the platform for free. The site has been around since 2006 and has more than 200,000 users daily.

You can always see how many members are online at the moment, explore photos, enter clubs, join forums, attend events, chat with other swingers in chatrooms, view private cam shows, and more. The site uses a verification system to ensure you talk to real people with genuine profiles.

5. Feeld

Feeld is an inclusive, user-friendly, and diverse dating app that caters to people looking for polyamorous connections. With an impressive range of features, Feeld allows you to look for compatible members by sexual orientation, personality, gender, etc.

Signing up takes only a few minutes. Although the verification process is quite strict, it’s necessary to ensure there are no fake profiles. You can join your profile with other same-minded people to improve your chances of finding genuine connections.

6. FetLife

With more than 2 million users online, FetLife is an excellent social media network for kinksters and poly daters. Although ENM isn’t exactly a common form of kink, many consider it taboo. On the other hand, people who are into ENM are also often into fetishes.

Well, Fetlife caters to both. Additionally, the site works like a social network dedicated to all sorts of kinks and fetishes. You can find fetish groups, swingers, BDSM, threesomes, casual sex, hookups, and everything else your heart desires. For poly daters, there are specific groups for all sorts of polyamorous dating.

7. Swap Finder

Swap Finder is one of the largest swinger dating sites on the web. The site mostly caters to swinger couples and singles looking for casual sex, threesomes, friendship, and open relationships with same-minded people.

You can create a profile for free, exchange nude photos, watch hot and sexy videos with singles and couples, start private chatting sessions, tap into private cam shows, and so much more.

Easy navigation makes browsing member profiles as straightforward as possible. You can find available swinger singles and couples in your area in a heartbeat.

8. SDC (Swingers Date Club)

Just like FetLife, SDC is also a huge community and a social media-like dating site for open-minded singles, couples, fetishists, kinksters, and all others who prefer everything but monogamous relationships. There are more than 20,000 members online every day.

If you’ve always wanted to find a threesome or try swinging, SDC is the right site for you. The best thing about SDC is that you can read many useful articles on online dating, swinging, casual sex, etc. Aside from connecting with tons of like-minded people, you also get a chance to learn a thing or two.

9. OkCupid

OkCupid is an all-encompassing dating platform with more than 50 million members worldwide. It caters to every existing dating preference, ENM and polyamory included.

The site caters to both monogamous and polygamous dating and allows you to explore many different sexual options. Couples can link their profiles and look for same-minded people together. Members have to like each other to exchange messages.

Every profile must go through a thorough verification process to get approved. A matching system provides daily match recommendations based on your sexual and dating preferences.

10.  #Open

#Open is a relatively new dating app for non-monogamous connections. It caters to all sorts of dating preferences, from ENM and open relationships to polyamory.

Out of all other sites and apps, #Open is the only ENM dating app that allows you to connect with other ENM people and their partners.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, the app allows you to date solo or with your partner.

What is ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy)?

Ethical non-monogamy refers to any romantic relationship that isn’t limited to two people. If two or more people engage in a romantic relationship in a way that involves open communication, that is known as an ethical non-monogamous relationship.

Any relationship between two or more people that isn’t entirely exclusive for all parties involved can be defined as ENM. Although ENM isn’t your typical way to engage in romantic relationships, it has become quite popular in recent years, primarily thanks to the rise of various dating apps and websites.

Nowadays, there are many different types of ENM relationships for every sexual and dating preference. The presence of ENM in a relationship can mean many different things. It may involve only one person or all parties.

The point is that all parties involved are free to do what they please as long as they openly communicate their feelings to each other. Some people may prefer to have multiple partners for sex but only one person for a relationship.

Others may prefer the other way around. While their sexual loyalty to only one partner remains, they may also create romantic connections with other people. Although it may sound a bit confusing, it’s actually fairly straightforward.

An ENM relationship may involve only romantic or only sexual feelings, or both, depending on the participating parties. People who practice ENM might be in their primary relationships. However, since they have different relationships and sexual preferences, they may want to find other partners for sexual and/or romantic connections.

For all those wondering if ENM is the same as cheating, it’s not. Cheaters do things behind their partners’ backs. ENM is different because it’s ethical, meaning it involves parties who consent to it.

ENM Relationship Types

ENM is an all-encompassing term. In other words, it encompasses an array of unique individual relationship types that help define it.

The good thing is that all ENM relationship types have one thing in common – all parties involved give their consent and willingly engage in a particular kind of ENM relationship.

Let’s briefly review some of the most common ENM relationship types so that you know how to practice them properly.

1. ENM on Its Own

It’s possible to engage in a totally unique ENM relationship that doesn’t follow any well-known models. You must understand that a relationship can be what you want it to be as long as all those involved agree and give their consent.

You’re not forced to abide by any rules, nor do you have to blindly stick to any of the existing relationship forms. If you and your partner(s) feel good about what you have, that’s all that matters. The key word here is ethical, as it applies to all parties involved. You’re free to make your own rules – if others find it acceptable, so be it.

2. Polyamory

Polyamory is the most popular form of ENM relationship. This type of ENM gives you plenty of options. You can be in a relationship with several people, or you can have one primary partner while being committed to others as well.

There are also situations where one partner is polyamorous and has several partners. Still, one of them might not want to have other partners or be in a relationship with other people. Whatever works for you is fine.

Polyamory depends on openness and communication between partners about everything that matters, from emotions to safe sex. Polyamorous relationships can be short-term or long-term and may involve a commitment to several people simultaneously. If you have a partner and date other people, that is known as a connected polyamorous network.

3. Open relationships

While polyamory requires a commitment between parties involved, open relationships don’t have to involve other persons aside from the primary two partners. In an open relationship, partners are loyal to each other emotionally but are free to pursue other persons for sexual connections.

Some exceptions here and there may involve emotional and/or romantic relations with other individuals, although these are rare. An open relationship model prioritizes the initial relationship and connection between the two primary partners but allows them to pursue other connections outside their relationship.

4. Relationship Anarchy

Another conventional way of engaging in a relationship is relationship anarchy. This model refers to the connection between two people who aren’t fully focused on their relationship engagements. In other words, the relationship they have isn’t the main focus of their attention.

Instead, they view their connection as equal to friendship, romance, and everything else in between. Relationship anarchy is focused on personal autonomy. It allows you to choose what you want to do. You can characterize your relationship with someone as sexual, romantic, and/or strictly platonic.

5. Monogamish

This type of ENM relationship is mainly related to people who prefer monogamy in a relationship but aren’t limited to it. Partners may want to experiment sexually from time to time, and monogamish relationships allow them to participate in sexual connections outside their main relationship.

6. Polygamy

When one person has multiple partners, that’s known as polygamy. Although it’s not legal in many countries, you can practice this type of ENM ethically.


If you’ve always felt something was missing in your monogamous relationships, perhaps you should try ENM relationships. There’s nothing wrong with having multiple partners as long as you’re all on the same page.

Always be open about your feelings and communicate with your partners to express your wishes if you want something. It’s only natural to do things that make you happy. If dating several people rocks your boat, just do it ethically and with respect for all parties involved.